Child's play
Home » Magazine » Good, issue 13 » Child's playWhy parents should make time to waste time
Did your parents lark about when you were a kid?
Today’s parents are expected to spend more time playing with their children than any generation before them, but seem to have less time than any previous generation.
Psychologists tell us that child’s play fosters motivation, control, imagination, cognitive ability and helps relieve stress. We all know that play is vital for a child’s development—but really, who has the time for it?
Did your parents lark about when you were a kid? Most of our parents didn’t spend anywhere near the amount of time playing with us as we’re expected to spend with our kids.
For most of us, there are always going to be other jobs that seem more important—and when we do make the effort to play with our kids, we’re often distracted by all the things we should be doing instead. Psychologists have a name for this: it’s called ‘future thinking’ and it’s the opposite of being in the moment, which is where you need to be to enjoy the time you’re choosing to spend with your child.
The solution? Parents need to rethink their attitude to time management, says psychologist and writer Anthony Gunn. If the thought of wasting ‘precious’ time makes you anxious, try wasting a bit of time on purpose. Deliberate time wasting helps put the high expectations you have for yourself on hold, so you can enjoy time with your child.
Feel overwhelmed by the thought that you’ll have to play with your child for hours? Set aside a realistic amount time to waste, starting with ten minutes every second day.
Think of play as a state of mind rather than the activity itself, says Gunn. It’s best when it’s fun and focused on process rather than outcome. And as a general rule, the messier and the sillier the game, the more fun it’ll be.
From Raising Confident Happy Children: 40 ways to help you child succeed by Anthony Gunn (Hardie Grant 2010, $21)
Sarah Heeringa
