Simone Milasas and Brendon Watt, relationship experts, ex-partners and and co-authors of Relationship, Are You Sure You Want One, share their views on a recent study that looks at the type of people who play hard-to-get and the types of people who are attracted to it.
Are you playing the dating game? Are you having fun? Is it going the way you like? Or would you like something different? You can get what you want in dating and relationships and it may be a lot easier than you think.
A key ingredient to having the people you would like to have in your life is to recognize that you are the source for creating your life and your relationships. If you like what is showing up, your choice created it. If you do not like what is showing up, your choice created that too. That is the good news and the bad. Bad news? Excuses gone. No one left to blame. Good news? Knowing you are the one that can change it, empowers you to do just that.
If you would like to have relationships in your life that contribute to you, here are my top three tips to get you started.
Simone Milasas and Brendon Watt1. Ask, “What’s the Most Important Thing to Me?
Chances are you were taught that in relationship you have to sacrifice yourself. You are “supposed” to give up everything that is important to you in order to prove that you care. The opposite is actually true. If you don’t include you in the relationship, if you don’t create your life the way you’d like it to be, your relationship will be unhappy at best.
Here are some questions you can ask:
· What would I like my life to be like in five years?
· How much money do I want to make?
· What is it that’s most important to me?
If you are not clear on what you desire to have as your life, you choose relationships that do not add to the value of your life. When you know what you would like, you can ask for someone to show up that matches that and will support that. You become the chooser of the relationship rather than the chosen.
2. You are complete
Relationships that work start with knowing that you are complete. Not only are you complete, not only do you not lack or need anything outside of you, you are actually the source for creating the life you desire. Until you know this, you will be constantly looking for someone or something to fulfill and satisfy you and you will always be disappointed. When you get that you are complete and recognize that you are the one who can create your life, you stop expecting anyone else to meet your needs. You become needless and therefore able to create.
Not quite there yet? Still buying into the idea that you lack something? Here’s an easy tool you can use to change that. Every time you think that you are not good enough or that if you don’t have a relationship you are somehow incomplete, say to yourself, “Interesting point of view. I have that point of view.” What occurs when you use this phrase is that those points of view, which are currently real and true in your mind, become simply interesting and when they are simply interesting, you can let them go.
3. Be grateful for you
When is the last time you said thank you to you? When is the last time you judged you? Gratitude is the anecdote to judgment. Gratitude changes everything. You cannot be grateful for you and in judgment of you at the same time. Questions to ask when you need a little gratitude boost:
· What is right about me that I am not getting?
· What gratitude can I have for me, my body and my life right now?
· What gratitude can I have for all the choices I have made?
Not judging you is the sexiest thing on the planet. When you walk through life with a sense of gratitude for you, people will be attracted to you. Now you, as the source for creating your life, get to choose. Ask, “Will this person contribute to what I would like to create as my life?” This allows you to be the chooser rather than the chosen and to invite into your life whom you would like to invite.
Having the relationships and the people you would like to have in your life is not about the luck of the draw. It is about you choosing to be more of you each day. Get clear on what you desire as your life, become needless of others, practice gratitude for you and enjoy the enjoyable people who will come along and contribute to your life as you contribute to theirs. The beauty and joy of gifting and receiving.
About Simone Milasas:
Simone Milasas is an entrepreneur and creator, creative business coach, author and Business Development Manager of Access Consciousness®. A lady who knows how to be a woman, Simone joyfully sees the prospect of possibility and future in every choice she chooses. She is the founder of Joy of Business, mentoring entrepreneurs around the globe to create greater wealth and happiness, and has been at the forefront of cutting-edge creation and development for over a decade. In addition to Relationship: Do you really want one?, Simone is the author of Joy of Business, translated into 13 languages, and the best-selling book Getting Out of Debt Joyfully, translated into multiple languages. Find out more at simonemilasas.com.
