Believing in yourself, if only it was that easy
With Paula Gosney
Hands up all of you who know that believing in yourself more would mean you’d be happier, more confident, take more risks, achieve more and generally have
a bigger life?
I’m pretty sure that is all of you. We know that self-belief is the cornerstone to living our best life, the same way we know eating a king-size bar of Caramello isn’t great for our prospects as a swimsuit model. But knowing it doesn’t stop us eating it, nor does it suddenly give us the self-belief we crave.
High levels of self-belief are a combination of nature and nurture; some lucky humans are born with a line-up of genes that signal to the nervous system that there is reward in risk. While others are born into wonderful, positive families where their ability and personal power is affirmed throughout their life.
For the rest of us mere mortals who knocked around in the usual Kiwi home – full of love with a side serving of criticism and the tall-poppy syndrome – we have to get our self-belief the hard way. We have
to build it.
You can develop self-belief; it is done by creating evidence for yourself of your success and value.
This evidence looks like: successful relationships, contributing and being valued in communities, doing the things you say you’ll do – big or small, taking risks and high-fiving yourself no matter what the outcome, feeling fear and doing it anyway.
Think about some of these condensed ideas. If you want to find out more check out my work at beliefschool.com
1. Look at your life and from a deep place of appreciation, acknowledge the positive relationships you have; put evidence of these relationships around your visual space.
2. Set yourself up to win. Set goals, big enough to stretch you, but not so big that you are going to fail every time (setting yourself up to fail erodes self-belief).
3. Reward your successes. It’s really important to connect positive emotions and experiences to your achievements.
4. Give – expecting nothing in return. There is no better way to see evidence of the value you bring to the world than by giving more than you get.
5. When you reach goals, no matter how small, put evidence of this where you can see it (this is especially important for children).
6. Reframe the idea of failure. Failure is bravery, failure is growth, and failure is opportunity. Aim to be the dumbest person in the room often.
Paula Gosney is the creator of Belief School. She’s an outspoken advocate for women and teaches that we are way more creative and fierce than we allow ourselves to believe.